I Was A Goner
by ohlittlebirdy
Summary: Peeta's thought process of when he first heard Katniss sing.


As we assembled into the choir room that day, I had no idea what was about to happen. What I had gotten myself into when I'd stepped into the pale-walled room that day. It wasn't something that I had expected; I was merely five years old when it happened. I was five and I had no idea what love was. Love was something shared between a mother and a father. Something only grown-ups should experience, but, I was wrong.

I was wrong because love can strike anybody, even in the dimmest of places, the darkest of times. Even if you didn't want it, that wasn't any excuse. It would chase your tail until you gave in and allowed it to absorb every aspect of yourself. Your mind, your soul and especially, your heart. It fills your heart up so much, which is why people suffer from pains in their chest. Simply because their hearts' cannot handle any more of feelings that love keeps injecting into their veins.

The same thing happened to me and was still circulating through my body today.

Her name was Katniss Everdeen. Everything about her was strange, especially how she acted towards her fellow peers, but I saw past the guard she so often hid behind. Inside she was strong, but on the outside she appeared to be a normal little girl, sporting two dark brown braids on either side of her thin, frail face. She used to arrive in a dress every day, which was rather odd, compared to the Katniss I knew today. Or, pretended to know. I never understood why Katniss was so reserved. She never seemed to make friends or talk to anyone, except Madge, the Mayor's daughter.

I had never made an attempt to get to know her. Sometimes I regret it, but every time I came close to her, I transformed into the shy, timid boy that I hated and no matter how hard I tried, speaking was unbelievably difficult.

When I recount that day, which I do every so often in my head, I try to pinpoint the second my eyes glanced over to her and remained for the entirety of that lesson. The entirety of that day.

It happened when my teacher asked who knew the 'Valley Song' and Katniss was first to volunteer. Her arm shot right up in the air, like she wasn't afraid to admit it, or even perform it which is exactly what the teacher expected. The teacher smiled and Katniss pushed herself off the floor. As she headed over to the front of the room, I heard various snickers being passed from student to student, but Katniss showed no sign of fear. Not a single sign. Her legs didn't quiver, her eyes didn't flicker, she just stood there; strong and proud and immediately, I was transfixed.

My infatuation was made all the more obvious when she opened her mouth and out came the most soothing noise I'd ever heard. Her voice filled the room, trapping us all into the aura she omitted. She closed her eyes as she harmonized the song. The song which I'd haven't gotten out of my head since that day. It made the mockingjays outside whistle along and it also made me dizzy. It made my head spin, my heart pound and my palms sweat. She was mesmerizing, she was perfect. I sat on the floor, entranced by every single movement she made. She swayed from side to side, gently pursing her lips together with each note. Her hair stayed perfectly still, but every so often she would push a stray hair out of her eyelashes.

And from that moment on, I was a goner.

I think it's strange to think that a moment so insignificant changed my life forever. But Katniss was significant. She was probably the noblest citizen in District 12. She fought hard for her family, her little sister and I was merely the baker's son. I had no significance to her and I don't know why our paths would ever cross. I know that it was hard for her to dine on the finer things District 12 had to offer, which mean that baked goods were completely out of her league.

Now, as I stand, waiting for the name of the boy tribute, I don't know how to feel. I see Katniss, standing on the podium already, looking as radiant as I'd ever seen her. She had volunteered, just like that day in the choir room. She wore a dress, just like that day in the choir room. But this time, she didn't look strong, she looked like the little girl I had fallen in love with over thirteen years ago.

This time, I make no attempt to try to get her to see me, to notice me, because she never has. I'm Peeta Mellark, I am a nobody.

But when I hear my name being called... I am immediately a somebody and for the first time, in a long time, Katniss looks at me.

As Effie orders us to shake hands, I can't help but frown as I do. The girl in front of me was to do great things with her life and as our hands connect and my stomach twists into knots, I make a mental note that I'd do everything in my power to keep her safe. To keep Katniss alive.


End file.
